Our friend Meg recently blogged about all her excuses not to blog. So, feeling creatively arid lately, I offer my own list:
I am busy:
1. Wrapping the caramels that I made before Thanksgiving (it's OK, they won't go bad, all ye food safety experts) and I'm not done yet. Caramel wrapping inflicts stickiness on keyboards.
2. Watching the Weather Channel for hints of The Big One (that's a snowstorm in these parts, pardner).
3. Counting the days till my son really moves all his crap out of the house. Him, I could keep. His stuff is becoming rather unmanageable now that his sister's stuff is keeping it company. When, you ask, will his new house be ready? Soon, I'm told. They're plastering Sheetrock and the wood floors get refinished next week. I'm going to make one of those little calendars with the doors (think Advent calendar, but that would be sort of sacreligious) counting the days between "Sign the papers and go into debt for the rest of your life" to "Move every last thing you own out of your parents' house so they can rent out your space for $500 a month."
4. Ticking off the hours until my two-week (count 'em!) Christmas vacation beginning Dec. 22. Working at a Catholic university has definite advantages. Every day I pray for our admissions and financial aid people, as our livelihood depends on them.
5. Crocheting the lacy little snowflakes I intend to give all my favorite people at Christmas because I'm too broke to buy them anything. Which is really a blessing after all: Curling up in my chair with the cat at my feet and watching those weepy holiday specials while I work is much more fun than trudging through the mall, tossing hundred-dollar bills at ungrateful store clerks. And I don't have to chirp, "Happy holidays!" to anyone.
6. Drinking leftover eggnog -- the real stuff laced with bourbon and rum. You can't drink this eggnog and blog anything readable.
7. Watching our students begin to walk in their sleep, a spectator sport that culminates in finals week and graduation. Winning scores come in for for number papers written, tests taken and hours awake. Style points: Unwashed hair, beard overgrowth, wrinkled clothes. Lightning round double-scores are earned for talking to themselves and forgetting their iPods in the library.
8. Writing the annual Sirek Christmas letter. I'm lying about this one because I haven't really written it yet -- just taking notes. This I know: It won't be a parody of "A Visit From St. Nicholas," a.k.a. "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."
9. Trying to lay off the sweets and favor the gym so I can avoid embarrassment in Florida -- although almost anything goes in the Land of Inappropriate Clothing for Body Type. I scored four free airline tickets this year from forgotten American Express points, and the other benefiting couple is likely to pick up the rental car charges, so presto! I have a free vacation coming in February! Yay me!
10. And my basic cover-all excuse for my blogging ineptitude? I'm just trying to keep it together until after the solstice. No, I'm not a witch -- I'm a b--ch. I need sunlight to be a nice and creative person. These short winter days put me to sleep and make me cranky. All I want to do is lay in bed and eat massive amounts of dark chocolate and drink gallons of chardonnay. So this is a month of epic scenarios, Good vs. Evil in constant showdown: Do I simply take a little snooze before I go to bed and sleep 12 hours, or do I scream at anyone who drops a Christmas cookie crumb on my floor after I've gained 10 pounds because it's all the fault of Jesus for being born in the dead of winter?
Happy holidays :)