Monday, November 19, 2007

Old? Who you callin' old?

Yesterday my first child turned 29, which is a little weird for me. Somehow, it's OK to have kids in their 20s but not their 30s. So I'll be trying my damnedest to a.) grow up by next year and b.) not turn into a cranky old woman. Cranky, maybe, but not old.

I pondered this age thing a bit this weekend when my 3-year-old grandsons succeeded in literally knocking me down (thank God the bones aren't brittle yet), and when I made a trip to the doctor's office over the weekend for a flu shot. When I was younger, I threw caution to the wind and took my chances with influenza -- which I don't think I've ever had. What's next? The gout? Shingles? At a bit over the half-century mark, I have already started the head-bobbing that comes from wearing bifocals, grunting when I put on my socks, plucking hairs from places where they just have no business growing, and exhibiting these funny "age spots" (which really don't "fade" no matter what you put on them) on my hands. Gray hair? Plenty of it. Extra weight? Way too much of that, too. Memory loss? Uh-huh. There's no turning back, I guess.

But I can put up with all of that. Here's what I do wish, however: that Gen-Xers and Millennials that I know would stop dismissing me as terminal and unhip and treat me with a little respect, please, because I AM older and I DO have some experience and I AM, for an , um, older person, pretty cool. At least I don't feel like I act crotchety. Much. I just like people who can read, spell properly and listen as much as they talk. So there!


Daughter #1 said...

Sheesh. I hope I am not one of those consonant-labled generations that doesn’t give you the respect you deserve. (And “Millenials?” What the heck does that mean? Are Will and Owen part of these so-called Millenials? I just hadn’t heard that term yet!) All I know is that I am old, and I still find you very cool. No matter what age has done to your body, I know you are young at heart. Things that are “cool” about you:
1.Your glasses. Seriously hip and stylish. Mine aren’t even that cool.
2.You do listen to a lot of talk radio and watch the weather channel way too much, but at least you are still committed to watching good old TV trash, like Days of Our Lives, a past-time you have not given up since college.
3.You willingly babysit your rambunctious grandsons at least once a week, if not more. And you don’t just stick ‘em in front of the tube, I hear you actually play with them! Ring around the Rosies, Hide and Go Seek and all that jazz. If that doesn’t keep you young, I don’t know what will.
4.You are 52 years old and you are INTERNET SAAVY. You understand vague computer terminology, you keep a blog and you know how to text message. Tell those Gen-xers to put that in their pipes and smoke it. (Er, don’t smoke it, don’t do drugs … um … well, you get the point.)
5.Basketball season is upon us, and I know you are a junkie for high school and college ball. I bet you watch ESPN as much as you watch CNN. You are a middle-aged woman who actually enjoys watching sporting events! That definitely balances out the coolness scale, especially your requirements about good grammar.

And I could name many more. Here’s to hitting year 29, and still staying “cool.”

Madwoman of Preserve Path said...

Good God. You posted this after midnight. Go to bed, girl.

"Millennials" is marketing/sociospeak for people born between 1982 and 2000.